you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize