The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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