Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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