Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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