You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
