the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
