Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
