Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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