I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
