Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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