The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
