Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
