question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
