I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
