i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
