laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
