4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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