the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
