My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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