Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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