Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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