does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm both gender and math confused
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
