And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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