Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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