New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
NoShamevember. You game?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
