after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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