Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
