Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
