he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
