I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
