so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
