I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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