I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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