I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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