So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
