If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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