I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
