Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
