May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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