The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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