Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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