I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
