it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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