i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
