Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
too bad you live with your parents still
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize