I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
