Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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