I'm going to rape someone's good day.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
