my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
