Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
