I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
