im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
