idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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