So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize