Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
