VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
