My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How does it feel to date your dad?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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