Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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