Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
