Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
