are you still at the devil's house?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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