I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
