HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
