a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
from now on my penis is your penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize