I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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