They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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