Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
